Our Baby Steps
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So…I went back on the pill today
I wish I could say it was because I made some earth-shattering decision, but really it’s because I’m sick of breaking out like a 15-year-old and putting on weight.
Since we’re not actively trying, I just want my body back… and to stop getting confused for my 37-year-old friend’s daughter. She’s five years older than me. I should not look so young as to be mistaken for a teenager.
Chub and pimples do not suit me.
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Via Ukraine: Sometimes I cry at weird moments
Like when the boys visited Santa today. I just about lost it. We were at Macy’s in Chicago, it was snowing, my kids (my kids) were sitting on Santa’s lap asking for presents in English and I started to tear up.
And now I’m crying again.
I could tell a lot of parents were in a bad mood, and felt…
It’s experiences like this that make me really want to adopt.
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You know I have huge problems with this story line on Glee, except for this part. Preach, Shelby, preach.
(Source: fuckyeahglee)
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Q: just read your post about not being sure if you're wanting kids now, it made me think of some good advice about having kids I once heard. Think of having a kid like getting a big ole face tattoo. You want to be really sure it's what you want. Seriously though, people always try and talk others into having kids. If you aren't sure DON'T do it. You are young and have time, if you're not sure, wait till you are. Just my opinion, only u know what's best for you.
A:
Thank you, lovely. I think that’s a great way to put it. I know that when/if we do, we’ll be 110% ready.
I also like what you said about the peer pressure. I like to think I live life by my own rules, and this is a good reminder to keep doing that. : )
To be honest, I had a conversation with my mom today that I think I have a tad bit of wanderlust and some minor regret over my career choices. Time to do some soul searching! Allons-y!
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Conflicted
I’m going through a phase where I’m not sure if I ever want to have kids.
It’s weird, because I think deep down I’ve always wanted kids, but didn’t want to admit it. Now I’m afraid to admit that I might not want children. What the hell is wrong with my brain?
People keep telling me this is normal – that you never feel “ready” and stuff like that. But I’m not scared; I just don’t know if I want the responsibility.
In all honesty, I just think I need more time, but I’m scared my ovaries have other plans.
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Q: Dammit! Now my hear/here typo will live forever on the interwebs! I think it's awesome that your company even considered an adoption benefit (though I see the committee's point, too). Our province added a fertility tax credit 3 years ago, and I sent a letter asking them to consider an adoption credit in order to benefit all families equally (there's a federal one, just not a provincial one - yet) and they sent me a form letter in response. Nothing worse than feeling like you weren't even heard!
A:
If it makes you feel better, I assumed it was, in fact, a typo. I didn’t think you didn’t know the difference betweeen hear/here. : )
And, yes, I’m VERY grateful that I was heard and that my company cares. I’m with you; I don’t understand supporting fertility treatment and NOT adoption. Period.
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Q: I clicked over hear because I thought, "hey, I haven't heard much from the other side of Douchebaggery in a while" (because I totally call you "Douchebaggery" in my head!) and just saw your last post about adoption benefits at work. I don't know how I missed that before. I think that is SO awesome, whether you end up using them or not - it's just such an awesome thing for a company to view all families the same (because I presume there's also a fertility benefit of some kind). Also: Hi!
A:
OK, first of all, I love that you call me “Douchebaggery” in your head. Best. Nickname. Ever.
Second, I was excited about the benefits too. Although, unfortunately we may not go forward with it. The good news is, the president thought it was a really great idea and said he could approve it. He asked us to take it back to the committee to be sure we wanted this to be our “cause” for the year. Bad news is the rest of the committee thought they should push for something that would “benefit more people,” like better health or retirement benefits.
I get where they’re coming from, but it disappointed me.
Oh well…doesn’t mean we won’t pursue adoption, but it would have been nice to get the reimbursement. In my quest to remain ever positive, I’m just glad to know that my coworkers and my boss all view adoption as the wonderful thing that it is. So there’s that.
Incidentally, if anyone is ever looking for info on implementing adoption benefits in your workplace, the Dave Thomas Foundation has a free tool kit they’ll send you.
Also: Hi back!
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Baby steps
So the committee I’m on at work just approved a proposal for adoption benefits for us. Now it goes to the president, and if he approves, we can get reimbursed for adoption expenses and extra unpaid leave. (We’re hoping for up to $5,000 and an extra four weeks.)
Still not sure if the hubz and I want to adopt or not, but I’m proud that I could be helping some of my coworkers to start/grow their families.
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Q: I know exactly what you mean. We had about 5.5yrs of marriage under our belt before we brought home our son. I wanted it to have happened way way before that. But standing where I am today with our son almost 4. I am so glad we had that time before our boy. Technically we had 9yrs together before, and even that doesn't feel long enough at times. Kids definitely change everything and take a lot of time away from being a couple. SO,enjoy every single free moment, all of it. Cause it will go poof.
A:
Thank you. I keep reminding myself that I will make a better parent if I have a stronger relationship with my husband. I’m just starting to feel old, you know?
P.S. I hope it’s OK that I published this. I assumed you sent it via ask because of the length, but if it was because of privacy, let me know, and I’ll take it down.
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Infinite Loop
I feel like the hubz and I are constantly going back and forth on our desire to start a family. Ultimately I think we just want to spend more time together — just the two of us.
I wish I didn’t have the sinking feeling that my ovaries are shriveling up as we speak. I wouldn’t mind waiting a few years. There’s an odd sort of pressure to start trying soon. Everyone who got married around the time we did seems to be expecting and nearly all of our friends around our age are having kids or already have them.
Why do I feel like a failure for not being knocked up yet? Especially when I’m perfectly content with the way my life is right now?
Being a girl is a pain.
In related news, I had a conversation with a coworker last night about how “vagina” is viewed as a bad word. We were with several other coworkers who were mortified that I said “vagina” above a whisper at a local restaurant. So I got a little louder and proclaimed, “vagina, vagina vagina.”
Take that, sexism.
